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Send in your event or ideas on what CMNM to plan, tell us about a CMNM event, or make suggestions or comments about events on the following form: CMNM Event Idea Form

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Thursday, December 18, 2014

Encountering once again a self-revealing stranger

 Do Hostels make for hostile people?  I think not.

A recent email  to a former limited acquaintance is found below. Why is it significant enough to blog
about it?   Once I learned something important from a complete stranger I happened to find sleeping next to me.  Now, I wonder again if it's possible to learn something or even teach him some valuable again.  Let me try to explain...

I met JH (not his real name or initials) and really thought he was cool guy. He  was masculine, athletic, and rather good-looking, but he was down-to-earth and a good listener, too.  We were sleeping in adjoining bunkbeds in a youth hostel while we were both on business/pleasure in Honolulu several years ago.  We enjoyed talking and did spend some time doing touristy things.  Nothing much really happened that was truly important, but I could not get out of my head that this was a time that my two normally completely separate lives  - my alternate personal identities - straight father who is university professor and gay blogger who travels the world to stay at gay nude resorts - would come together for a brief time.

To explain that  significance, it might help the readers to understand a bit more about me and my second life as Kelly Lewis (sunbuns / sunbuns99 / sunbunz).   Below is excerpted from JustUsBoys profile.

    Being careful about self-disclosure comes easily to a self-exposing naturist, I love travel, being naked, enjoying new experiences, and helping others reach their potential. Sex is pretty good when thrown in the mix. I am not always 'gay' or truthful about being straight either - but I'm never dishonest. My real age and real name are not disclosed - I don't look a lot like Orlando Bloom now, even though people have noted the resemblance(s) to him. He's my archetypical hero.
    If sex were just simply a bodily function or loving the beauty of  the male face or form was recognized a wholly human artistic endeavour, or if we only recognized having sex as a way to manufacture new human
carcasses (receptacles for our brains) then I'd not have to hide part of my identity - the gay one.
'The Web (virutality) is not a windbreaker or umbrella as much as it is a sail. It's not even waterproof or certainly not a fullproof shelter from the storms of existence, but I find it a wonderfully wild set of habitats.
I found a photo of JH on a hard drive where I had downloaded it months earlier,  and then his name and a MySpace page recently in a pile of notes and papers, so I decided to google him to see if he had emerged somewhere.

Sure enough he was found on Facebook (his 'straight' or regular guy self), but he also figured somewhat prominently in another person's life-story. Based on what I read in the following blog   That blogger describe his long-running problems with a series of gay roommates, and what he disclosed about JH was not very flattering or nice because they had been some kind of financial problem with getting his share of the rent paid.

JH was very likely 'escaping' from the wrath of this irate roommate during the very time that I met and spent a good many hours with him in Honolulu. I believe is was during the month of November, which is also his birthday.  What I found rather attractive about him was the unusual way he slept, it was manly and erotic, but so cute too. His nightly acrobatics made me have a several night's of fitful sleep, where I was furtively jerking my dick while straining to see up the athlete shorts he slept in each night.

Just the night before he (or was it I) was to leave the next day, I confessed to him that I thought he was a really handsome guy who must be hit on my a lot of women and men. He shocked me by telling me that he preferred it when guys hit on him -- instead of the females. It floored me to think I had been laying in my bunk bed next to his all those hours (over 3-4 days) wondering about his body, and thinking of something nasty I'd like to do to it, when all I had to do was simply ask him. No, he wasn't really interested in a man old enough to be his father. But, the next morning, he briefly explained that he was moving out because someone guy he had just met had asked him to stay at his place - obviously for a romantic sexual encounter.  Like.. Damn!

[This is his own photo from a old MySpace page. I had saved this photo in order to help me remember having met JH in Honolulu.]
  persona, and that I was very envious of him for being able to do so right now.   We parted that day and I had not heard from him until my re-discovery of his existence just today.
That incident revealed to me that today's young gay men have a incredibly different perspective on what being gay means to them. One large reason may be because the way that gays are perceived nowadays is so different than when I was growing up into manhood.  I even told JH about this realization and commented that I would someday like to be able to be myself - a gay father, professional  academic,  happily married without living in a disguised

So I wrote to him today (via Facebook) and wonder if he'll even reply and what he'll say.
Dear JH
 We met in Honolulu a few years ago when you and I stayed at a hostel in Waikiki Beach there. Sorry -  that's not my real photo in my Facebook profile.  So I won't be friending you here. I just thought of you recently when I happened to come across some old notes, and decided to look you up on Facebook.
  As you probably won't recall, it surprised me to discover (thanks to your being forthcoming) that you are (were) gay.
So am I - but also happily married to a woman for over 30 years.  Your life (what little of it I know) was a very different experience from the time when I grew up.
  I know you may not want to be 'reminded' of being gay or of that time in HNL. Perhaps you won't appreciate my having purposefully 'run-into' you again.  However, it is only to wish you well, and because I respected you - although I don't have much reason to do so.  But I think we did have some good conversations in that short time. By the way, I have been back several times to that hostel and have made several friends and new acquaintances from around the world - both gay and straight.

I just wanted to say that I wish you well, and hope you're finding life good or making of it what you want.  One of my sons was living in the Bay Area for the last two years, but has now returned to Tokyo. I know at one time, you had intended to come to here for skiing.  Did you make it or have you been back again since then?  If you do and have time to spend, I'd be glad to show you around, or at least have some food or a drink.   I'm not stalking or wanting a date - and no even interfere, but if you'd like, I'll send you a message via my 'real' (and ostensibly straight) persona here on Facebook.
David (alias Kelly)
Here I sit now.. waiting and wondering what kind (if any) response I will get back. In reality, I had written to him several times (with his old Yahoo email address) but never got a reply. I suspect that if

 what the blogger (link above) has written is true, then TH may be very revealing about only some aspects of his life (or even lie by others). Perhaps he would not feel safe and secure to disclose some of this past mistakes and problems.  Eventually, we all get older and certainly don't want mistakes in our past to ride herd over our lives. However, it takes a man to admit that he has learned from what he did in the past. So I wonder if TH was half the man that he seemed to be at the time.  Perhaps, I'll never know but it is important for him to recognize that his life did and does affect other around him -  even when only knowing each other for a brief moment in time.

Added Note by author: Just the next day, I received a welcoming message from JH. He was glad to hear from me, and owing to his new business venture, he'll be coming to Japan next year a couple of times. So we'll probably have a chance to meet at that time. It's not such a small world and small minded planet after all. I will contact him subsequently via my 'real' email address and Facebook profile.

Monday, December 15, 2014

The compulsion to expose oneself comes from being an extreme racial minority

sbjly07_01flash.jpgFor nearly two years (very infrequently - off and on), I have tried to get a younger man (about 23-27) who rides to work on his bicycle through the cemetery to notice my peekaboo flashing (see thru, hole-riddled jeans, and mesh clothes). He's not ever really taken the bait and generally turns his head or avert his eyes - if we're too close - so that he can't be 'accused' of looking. I am pretty positive he knows what I'm up to ... a few times a month I make a sudden appearance on his route - sometimes with my zipper down or sometimes, 
during the warmer months, wearing a pair of mesh shorts with my shirt tucked in just for him to see my pale cock wiggle from side-to-side as I walk by him. 
If he were so disgusted or fearful (of being stalked), he could easily find another path to his work (I think he's working at a small commercial airport not too far away) because I meet him usually (once a week or so) around 7:00am and he returns about home the same route in mid-afternoon. Wednesdays are his day off so he works on Saturdays as well.

Things have gotten more daring on my part this month. 

 Of course, there are many more people of Asian origin in most European cities than you would find Non-Asians (caucasians) in major cities of the country where I live.  I am writing this post partly in response to  in a posting (original from May 10) by the user cygnus who wants to find a place to flash in Holland. Look how he has described himself: "I am skinny asian boy" (a very cute one from the looks of his attached photo ), so  I am wondering if being a member of a racial minority may have an effect on wanting to be a flasher (or to expose ourselves).

I would say deep down psychologically it does.

We' re not talking about simply travelling to a country that has a very different ethnicity as your own. But actually living, working and becoming immersed in the language, culture and daily life for a long period of time - (few to many years) might prompt extreme minority members to crave acceptance beyond the 'normal' channels.

I noticed some str8 flasher on the other discussion forum on this site who fit this profile. 
'll need a shrink to help me explain it or explore the ideas within myself - but others may have some insight to share.

So does this strike a harmonic chord with anybody else who is a would-be flasher / exhibitionist and who is also in a racial minority in the country of residence where you live and work?

 Recently I've gotten
more bold.. like this morning. From the road, he would see 
me something like this (photo attached). I realize it's very tame by comparison
 (to other's extreme flashing - but HEY!.. we are NOT all made or built the same, 

I'm standing in a pathway between grave plots about 7 meters from
 the main road that runs through the cemetery. It's a straight wide (private) road with no thru vehicle traffic - so I only have to be careful about pedestrians and bicyclists going east/west. Before taking up my position just off the road, I scout out down the road to see if he's approaching and then take up my position (like the photo).

 I'm turned a bit to the left but I can him clearly when I look to my right. I've done this before but never pulled my pants all the way down until recently.  Earlier, I was taking a piss (or pretending too).
So twice recently.. when I knew nobody else was approaching either direction .. I've pulled down my pants and starting jerking my cock (not hard in this 'staged' recreation of the scene).
There should be no doubt that he can see me in this peripheral vision but he's TOO damned chicken or just not going to give me the pleasure knowing he's looking. He's smart - not a smart-alec and he's not looking for a confrontation but he's not looking to see 'dick' if he can help it either.

I know it's pretty stupid (fruitless is a better word LOL) -maybe useless to try to keep flashing this guy (if you can call it that). But the challenge just seems to be increasing my feelings of urgency. This time after he went by without so much as a smile or frown/scowl or side glance... I had to go deeper off the main road and beat off til I came. Is this going to lead to me trying to go to greater lengths to get the guy to look? I think the attraction is that I sort of 'feel' like I know him -- ridiculous idea (I know) but at least we recognize each other.
Sometimes he almost can't help it if I suddenly meet him coming around a corner but it's risky to be 'showing' more than just wearing see-thru mesh - because mothers with school children, old ladies and men heading to their office job are equally likely to suddenly appear around the same corners.
I know he does look my way at times .. but it's only when I'm 20-50 meters away. There is a large plaza (paved area) along the main road, where we sometimes cross paths at a much great distance. It is at times like that when I have my zipper down and my cock partly exposed. I notice then that he 'seems' to take a brief look .. but if I'm too close.. he averts his eyes or even turns his head.
What do you think? It's not much of a flashing experience - but it's the most 'real' flashing I've ever done (not counting nude beaches and CMNM with male strangers in hostels/campsites). He's got to know that I'm 'beating off' for him, but he's closed to the idea.See what I mean ... in a posting
(original from May 10) cygnus wants to find a place to flash in Holland. Of course, there are many more people of Asian origin in most European cities than you would find Non-Asians (caucasians) in major cities of the country where I live.

Look how he described himself "I am skinny asian boy" (a very cute one from the looks of his attached photo ), but does being a racial minority have an effect on us wanting to be a flasher (or to expose ourselves). I would say deep down psychologically it does.

We' re not talking about simply travelling to a country that has a very different ethnicity as your own. But actually living, working and becoming immersed in the language, culture and daily life for a long period of time - (few to many years) might prompt extreme minority members to crave acceptance beyond the 'normal' channels.

I noticed some str8 flasher on the other discussion forum on this site who fit this profile. I'll need a shrink to help me explain it or explore the ideas within myself - but others may have some insight to share.

So does this strike a harmonic chord with anybody else who is a would-be flasher / exhibitionist and who is also in a racial minority in the country of residence where you live and work?

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Natural nudity in public parks and recreation areas

The kind of flashing that appeals to me is the sort of 'semi' innocent flashing where guys get naked when changing clothes. It is not as if they really are intending to shock somebody by masturbating and blowing your load right in front of people .. it's a kind of laid-back

form of (almost) unintentional public nudity. Don't get me wrong -- I'd probably love being exhibitionistic more overtly in certain circumstances -- like the in a gay theatre or sex club -- I know I've enjoyed being watched in gay saunas -- but that is a kind of private sex life that I am not talking about here.

 At least for now, the only kind of public flashing I can do is the accidental exposure - "you weren't supposed to set that" type. I have found that some parks (depends on the country and the city) are great for this type of spontaneous 'naturist' flashing and other are not. I have already written about
how guys in Japan who are with their teams -- often change in public parks and just outside public ball fields -- you can sometimes get quite a show when they strip down to nothing or try to jump out of their athletic gear and into their street clothes. There are other places where I have experienced something a bit different. It seems that there is 'room' in society for a lot of male public nudity in Europe

Link to info about nudism on Donau Insel (Donau Island inside Vienna on the Danube River):

 Donau Island in Vienna and its excessive public parks along the Danube River were excellent for this kind of 'innocent' flashing. Along there somewhere may well be a section that is totally nude, but I couldn't find it. It is easy to take the train (subway) to one of at least two stations along this public
park-way or arrive at one and walk (30 min) to return via the other - which is the way I explore the area. I found that you were more likely to just happen across a nude man or women or see people pull of their clothes to get into the water. A few couples were going at it .. like a woman giving a guy a handjob under his shorts, but it is mainly a family like atmosphere - -but with some nude people mixed in - typically as singles. the long thin island is where I walked and then sunbathed nude, although there were a lot of people on the opposite banks -- the river is quite wide so it was not easy to see what state of undress people were on the far banks.

 What I liked is that you could change clothes (and flashing cyclist) or pick a spot up on the embankments and just get naked, or go for a

nude swim and it was not a big deal -- at least not for the casual observers who might glance your way. Obviously, Englischer Garten in Munich would be another place -- it was raining hard when I was there in August. [B]Innocent Flashing Spots:[/B] Can anyone recommend other places/parks/ public recreation areas where this can easily happen (in North America or elsewhere too)?  Much of the US tends to be so puritanical about nudity that people are likely to call the police on somebody who just is peeing, let alone actually sunbathing nude in a public park.


Saturday, December 13, 2014

Chances for flashing and CMNM experiences last summer

One of the times I almost forgot about was really one of the coolest CNMN   experiences I had for a long while. I stayed over in Waikiki over 6 days (at the hostel I mentioned in an earlier post). Apart from that, however, on Sundays,  there is a catamaran cruise which is mainly
reserved for gay and lesbians departing from Waikiki Beach at 1:00pm - you can get discounted tickets at  Angles (gay bar on Kuhio) and the 90-minute ride includes 4 drink tickets. It's advertised as clothing optional -
although I'd never seen anybody go naked on this cruise before (it was the 2nd time to take the cruise since they have advertized it as 'nude cruise.' It seems that actually boat operator and captain aren't really kept informed (at least they plead ignorance). 


Previously cruises I had gone on were very tame - nobody got naked, but this time I simply was not going to be denied the chance to get naked in public in front of so many people. As we were boarding, I asked some of the guys if they were going to get naked later on. Nobody seemed eager but there were any flat denials either.

So .... when we got further out in the bay about 500 yards from shore, I asked the captain - a local
Hawaiian guy, if it OK if I got naked. He said he was told about that before - but I explained that the cruise was advertised that way and that I wouldn't be obscene or do anything to attract attention from other boats. So he consented. I was the only one to get nude and there were a  few women and also a group of 5 young Black doctors from Wash D.C. in town for a medical convention.
I sat with a very big local guy but he didn't get naked 
but seemed to enjoy having  me do so. The two young ship's mates on board took furtive looks, but they were nonchalant about having a naked haole dude on board. Later on, we got back closer to shore nearly the end of the cruise, I pulled on my trunks and then we asked about being able to stop for a swim so the captain agreed. 
It would have been great to have been naked - all of us jumping off of the boat and then remerging up the gangway between the two large rudder fins of the catamaran. It was a great cruise and being naked made it so much more fun. Unfortunately, nobody got any pics of me.

So upon returning home, I just had to get naked in public this weekend. So I went out to Arakawa River since it was sunny and warm (staying in Tokyo now). I can't swear that anybody really got a look at me.. although they were passing by while walking or biking back behind me at the crest of the hill (actual flood bank) along the river. There was a hurricane (tropical cyclone) just a few days ago that overflowed the river (and prevented me from getting out).

There is a flood plain between the river and a large embankment to prevent real damage - this plain is about 300-400 meters across and serves as various playing fields for amateur sports team and public recreational use. Because of the flooding,
nobody was playing yesterday, but the teams had gathered to try to cleaning things up.
I placed myself about 2/3 up the embankment and got naked. Cyclists on the main raid below could see - although they pedal
by so quickly that they don't have time to see much (or seem to care). The boys on the baseball time were involved in doing what they need to.. so they didn't seem to look up and over in my direction. I did get up a few times and it would have been obvious to 30-40 people that I was naked but it
seems nobody noticed. I was there to freshen up my tan and commune with nature, and not particularly into flashing anybody anyway. It sort of confirms my recent self-realizations.. I like being naked with people who like seeing (and being) naked too - I am more of a nudist and naturist than an exhibitionist I guess. 

The pic shows the ballfields (soccer, baseball) in the background and the road below me where cyclists frequently passed. Somebody 'could' see but they have to be looking up and trying to see if I'm nude. Most people don't expect to find a naked person in a public area like this so they just don't bother to look / search.

On the other hand, it's a different story for me.. I love to look (so I'm maybe as more or more voyeur than exhibitionist). In the places, sometime guys (alone or in groups) change clothes - strip down to get into athletic gear or vice-versa. 

I've seen many college age groups strip down - some do it modestly by wrapping a towel around them at they pull off their underwear. Other are more brazen and just strip naked and then don their soccer gear, etc. At other times, some guys stop and pull out their cocks to piss - I love it when the whole team of 
Japanese high school guys is told by their coach to take a piss break. They all line up in a row and pull out their cocks and piss.. occasionally I've been lucky enough to catch a glimpse of this scene and I really wish I had a camera (or could get away with a shot of this type of amusing (homoerotic) scene.